Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
