need another drink. this is the easiest way
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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