lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
