It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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