..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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