Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
