Dual....:-)
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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