haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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