i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
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