your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
