haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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