did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
