Can Purell be used as lube?
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
