fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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