We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
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