Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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