Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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