I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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