Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
