so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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