accomplished twins. life is a go
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
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