what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
