and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize