Ketchup is God's man juice
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
