Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Randomize
