I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize