ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
nutella sex= disaster
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
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