i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
