And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
