That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Randomize
