Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
