my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
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