Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
