There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
