I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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