i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Randomize
