Christians are straight up FREAKS
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
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