She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
