All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
God gave him joint rollers for hands
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Houston, we have a squirter
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize