I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
