He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize