every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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