Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
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