I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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