he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
