A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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