dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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