addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
