Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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