Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
