literally had 100 drinks last night.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
