How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
As shirtless as possible
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
