ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
