ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
