Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
