That's when you crack a 10am beer
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
