I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
