A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
