im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
