I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
