I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Randomize
