i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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